My heart aches you guys. The trip to CO was really fun but so short that it has brought up all the same sadness and loneliness from when I realized emotionally you both were really geographically gone...and it had laid dormant for a while. Somehow I feel like I should be able to pick up and build relationships with people around me but lately (last year or so) I haven't wanted to...I would much rather just not talk or attempt to be open. While authenticity and honesty are refreshing, I'm feeling jaded about the whole relationship thing. It's such a weird dual feeling of wanting to be wanted but not wanting to do the wanting.
I shadowed a physician at Cook the last couple of weeks...and I'm in love. Absolutely in love. I ended up with a C in my Orgo class and A in the lab (ok...not great, but ok). It was tough...so it threw a serious doubt wrench my way. But everytime I have a struggle with why or how I'm doing this, God gives me these small but clear reminders that things are going the right direction. Regardless of the end of this process, going the way.
I can't wait to hear from you guys :)
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