That is great to hear! I hope you guys have closure coming your way sometime very soon. I'm sure the new couches are a wonderful change...but the floral will live forever in all the pictures made on them :) I hope you have fun in Minneapolis - have you ever been there? Speaking of...Mom thinks Dad needs hearing aids soon, but she is scared about the expense. Dad is having more trouble hearing stuff lately and it gets him really grumpy when he can't hear. It stinks that something so basic makes him feel older, you know?

Same here for you guys being my "rock". I hope I tell you both that enough and how much you mean and will continue to mean the world to me.

I randomly got called for a job interview for a job that I applied for like 4 months ago. It's part time with benefits through Cook Children's - the position is helping community mental health professionals collaborate to create wraparound services for kids 0-6. Sounds like it could be cool - depending on what they are paying though, we were kinda hoping for full time work after the MCAT on July 2nd. Hmmm. They offered it to me though and I'm playing phone tag with the HR person. I don't want to pull another Arrow situation and take it then to leave for a full time job.

I'm in the middle of super crunch time with MCAT prep stuff. I don't remember physics being this hard. It's funny how much Texas kids get prepped for standardized tests...I'm not scared of the test necessarily, just making sure I've done everything I can do to prep I suppose. While this spring has royally sucked in many ways...what David and I have gained from it and the peace I have now are worth it I think. We joked that now that we have been through just about every big subject couples can break up over (money, work, future, kids) - we could totally handle something bigger later and walk through it committed. It feels good. And for the first time ever for me, I am so content to be walking assured without knowing the end of the journey. So weird.

Do you remember fall in 07 - I went to see a doc and got an antidepressant scrip? It worked pretty good for a while, then the crazy dreams started, so we switched twice more, and eventually went back to the first med. So...I've been on it for a while...and by suggestion from my PCP, tried to taper off a while back with horrible results - lots of dizziness and nausea. Stupid medicine. I still have the depressive bouts that are sooooo low and bounce back. But...I had the revelation that the serotonin precursors we use with kids with low serotonin levels may support my brain the right way. So, a tad scary, but I think after the MCAT, I'm going to try and switcheroo. I really think our family has a genetic serotonin deficit...which would be more directly addressed by a supplement than a med that makes me feel crazy and not sleep well.

The big George Strait/Reba concert was this past weekend - the stadium parking costs $40. People near our neighborhood were charging $25. Nuts! Apparently things went ok, but the concert had 60,000 people attending and 24,000 parking spaces in Arlington. Good planning, huh? We have tickets to see U2 there this fall so it will be fun to see the inside - it's supposed to be pretty amazing.

Love you with all my heart and hope to hear your voice sometime!

Yesterday, Jason got a letter in the mail showing that he made 98 qualifying points out of 100 for the Landscape Architect job in Hawaii. It takes a 70 to qualify.

Then today he found out that funding should be signed over by Monday, which means maybe a move to Boulder. Either way, happy us.

I also did a hearing test yesterday and I go to Minneapolis next Thursday for hearing aid training, so that'll be fun. The company pays for all of it.

I miss you too. I had coffee with a new friend last week, or at least a girl that i met at a ladies' worship night... and it just wasn't the same. i find myself trying to make small talk with people, but i always know that it'll never be as deep as my relationships with you guys. the good news is that i know i can always get you guys when i need you though. when jim died, i knew if i called and had to leave a message, it wouldn't be long before i heard back from you. and it was true. that's how i know that you're my best friends. and that's enough for me. there's no doubt that y'all will always be considered my best friends, no matter who else comes along.

jason's company is hoping for funding this week. every week for the last four weeks, they've planned as if it were their last week in business, so i am praying for him and for the family and for the business every day.

well, i wished i prayed every day, but i don't. when i think about it. which stinks because it seems like my spiritual life suffers. daily. and then i feel guilty that i feel like i used to be on track and now i'm not. can you really go backward spiritually? cause that's what i feel like. and it's no one's fault but my own. which makes me feel more guilty that i can't blame it on anyone else. or anything else. just me. irresponsible, unfaithful me. and yet human me.

i'm trying to be more disciplined in a lot of things. working out. quiet time. eating right. but some days... who cares? and yet i know i should.

do i sound depressed? cause i'm not. i got new couches this weekend, so there's a perk. no more orange floral hand me down sofas. another college moment gone forever. another step in growing up.

An attempt at intimacy

My heart aches you guys. The trip to CO was really fun but so short that it has brought up all the same sadness and loneliness from when I realized emotionally you both were really geographically gone...and it had laid dormant for a while. Somehow I feel like I should be able to pick up and build relationships with people around me but lately (last year or so) I haven't wanted to...I would much rather just not talk or attempt to be open. While authenticity and honesty are refreshing, I'm feeling jaded about the whole relationship thing. It's such a weird dual feeling of wanting to be wanted but not wanting to do the wanting.

I shadowed a physician at Cook the last couple of weeks...and I'm in love. Absolutely in love. I ended up with a C in my Orgo class and A in the lab (ok...not great, but ok). It was tough...so it threw a serious doubt wrench my way. But everytime I have a struggle with why or how I'm doing this, God gives me these small but clear reminders that things are going the right direction. Regardless of the end of this process, going the way.

I can't wait to hear from you guys :)